Wed Lunch time I got a call that NO one ever expects or wants. As it was a blocked number I answered “ Hello Blocked number!” … It was Nokko Chyan (My adopted Japanese mother's sister) she said in Japanese “Fukkiko shinjyatta yo!” (Fukkiko has died) my heart stopped as she proceeded to cry & unable to speak passed the phone to her nephew Eji. I was speechless & said I have to call him back. As I sat there in a vail of tears my boss passing me a box of tissues ( I gather that she heard me speaking Japanese & put 2 + 2) Her first response was ...”You got to go!”. And so the wheels were set in motion … I got a ticket, don't need a visa, got some cash,went home & Packed.
I arrived at 7am & in an attempt to save some cash took the cheapest ticket I could get to Tokyo .. MISTAKE !! 2 hours later after stopping at every station I arrived in Shinagawa. I spoke to TOBY the night before to tell him I was coming to town for 3 days & why. He was going to Nagoya for the weekend so had to meet up on Tuesday for lunch. It was geat to see him & we caught up on all sorts of things I went to this place in Osaki to shower & put my suit on. It was hot as all hell & even though it was only 32c it was about 65% Humidity. That really slows you down & with buildings made of glass & concrete walking to the station was like running through a toaster oven. When I got the train to Kamakura(where I used to live & the Funeral was to take place) I decided to chilax & go first class. Off the train I got a Taxi to KADOKI HALL where the wake was to take place.
A very formal layout with coffin,flowers at one end, Then an alter chairs facing in for about 30 people on both sides then another small alter and all seats facing the front of the room. Upon arrive al I had all 4 surviving sisters take me asside and tell me how happy Fukkiko was that I came all the way from Australia. I was very touched as even though it was siad that I was Osawa sons son for many years I thought it was kinda lip service to make me feel good. But it was proven to me in the fact that I was to sit with the family & also take part in the more intimate parts of the proceedings.
There is the main alter … Can you see the coffin ?
Nokko Chan said that I should go and show my face to Fukkiko. I have to say that I was a little taken a back by referring to the deceased as if they were still in the room and alive. THIS was a bit of a culture shock as obviously being raised catholic for me once someone has stopped breathing then they have “gone”. But having an open mind and a heart bounding at a very steady rate I approached the coffin – which I found to be very modest I must say. There were 2 small doors that opened & through a perspex window I was Mrs. Osawa looking so peaceful. Her head was tilted to the side and she really looked asleep. Not grey or pale looking at all. She was to be cremated in her tea ceremony kimono – she loved Tea ceremony, which is a craft that is dying out in japan as it takes many many years to perfect. I believe that she was very good at it. As anxious as I was I was very relieved. “This can be too bad, The worst is over!” Finally at about 6pm guests arrived and paid money at the front and solemnly took their places. The Monk arrived 6pm sharp and started chanting. Ring a big inverted bell ...slow rhythmic chats. Most of it was not understandable but I did hear University mentioned, animals and a lot of earth, world references. Then the pace picked up & there was wood block action… the chants quickened & then family 2 by 2 stood up walked to the centre of the room and bowed to both sides of the room, Approached the main alter, Bowed and then proceeded to take a pinch of granualted incense and drop it into the burning ash after rasing it to their for heads 3 times. Put hands together to pray, deep Bow & then turned to the congregation bowed to both sides of the room and sat down. This continued until all the family members were done. Then the rest of the room did so however as family we had to bow in response to the others who did the same process at the second smaller alther in the middle of the room. I have never bowed so much in my life. When this was done the monk said afew words and left. Everyone except the family went down stairs had a bit to eat & drink. The family stayed up stairs and dined together. I had arranged to stay with my good friends Keiko & Masaki Suhara so rather then make them wait while I dined with the family. I excused myself and we went to 'Hamacho' Family restaurant wher we had often dined with Osawa son & it was one of my favourite restaurants in my local area when I lived in Japan. Went home and passed out.
I woke the next day by Yui Chan. The delightful 2 & ½ year old daughter of my good friends Keiko & Masaki. She is so cute and bubbly. After breakkie caught 2 trains back to Kamakura for the rest of the funeral. So Thought that maybe the worst was over but ...No not really. I thought I would be a good idea to have a coffee before I went to the hall to avoid yawning and being disrespectful. MISTAKE...It make me shake so as I was reaching for tissues during the day I looked way more upset then I actually was. At KADOKI Hall was pretty much the same process as the day before repeated. After the bowing had stopped the flowers were all take out the back and cut whole the casket was manoeuvred into the middle of the room and the lid removed. The flowers were brought out on trays and everyone took some and lay them around Osawa in the coffin. This was most likely the single most tear jerking experience have ever been part of and yet so beautiful. We all then piled into buses for the short 20 min ride to the crematorium. The place was very much made of stone & modern. After a few short chats from the monk again the coffin was loaded in and the doors closed. It sounded a little like a small jet engine as the thing fired up and did it's job. Another time a feeling of “I will never see her again.” We were ushered into a room for rice crackers and tea (Very Japanese.) At this point I was able to share with close friends and family the pictures I had on my laptop & talked about the great holiday Tri & I had with Nokko & Fukiko last February. I had photos of Obachyan (Grandma) and everyone Loved it soo much. I also included some pictures of our holiday in Hong Kong in about 2002. I was made to feel like a real member of the family which I felt very touched. Mrs Osawa was born I 1941 and recently celebrated her 68th birthday. Her husband had been confined to a wheelchair and so she remained childless until I turned up to rent the room above her pharmacy in 1991. She only let me pay rent the one time & then explained to me that she would really enjoy hosting me & for me to enjoy my Japanese experience. Since her husbands passing Fukkiko had become quite the recluse and when I arrived that all changed. I experienced Japan in a way that many forgieners who live and work in japan don't and for that I can not thank her enough. We had a special bond and I just simply can not imagine not being able to call here on a regular basis as I have become used to doing. After the collection of the Urn we all got into the buses and went out to lunch & of course there was an alter with her photo and urn. A little more chanting (OMG!) and we all enjoyed lunch & reminisced about the great life she had with us.
I returned back to Keiko & Masaki's home that evening & chilled out with Keiko & Yui. I was emotionally spent & physically exhausted. This morning I caught the train to Tokyo to have lunch with a good friend Kaori who until recently was going ot with Toby & is also another good friend of mines sister. She has given me her new album which is very much Chilled House. Very tasty & we chatted about the good old days.
As traumatic as this all seems to you all I am so glad that I was given the opportunity to farewell Fukkiko san. I feel that if I had not attended then the next time I venture to Japan it would just not be the same. I always approached unusual experiences in Japan with an open mind as you can not criticise a nation of over 130 million people who have ver deep seeded traditions & beliefs. I commented to Asako Chyan that even in death she was giving me the Japanese experience & for the Osawa sama – Domo Arigato gozaimashita.
Back to Australia tonight 61 & ½ later.
I have the entire Osawa & extended Alakida Family for making me feel so welcome.
Keiko & Masaki Suhara & of course the New Apple of my eye Yui chan.
Toby & Kaori for their support and love & Last and not least Asako Chan – We shared many a hug and sob together on both days & even though we have not seen each other for 15 years she is more my sister now than she knows. She told me of the positive effect I had on Fukkio Osawas life which was very touching. Never let it be said that Japanese people can nt express themselves … They just do it very differently.
I am going to take along time to digest the last few days but if you wanna talk about it with me please do... It helps to talk about difficult to digest experiences.
Josh.
Don't just take my word for it …. Check these links out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HG6bycveG8
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_funeral
http://www.tanutech.com/japan/jfunerals.html
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